A Lenten Prayer of True Repentance -- St. Ephrem the Syrian / 7th c.
I am unworthy to ask forgiveness for myself, O Lord, for
many times have I promised to repent and proved myself a liar by not
fulfilling my promise. Thou hast picked me up many times already, but
every time I freely chose to fall again. Therefore I condemn myself and
admit that I deserve all manner of punishment.
How many times hast Thou enlightened my darkened mind; yet every time I
return again to base thoughts! My whole body trembles when I contemplate
this; yet every time sinful sensuality reconquers me. How shall I
recount all the gifts of Thy grace, O Lord, that I the pitiful one have
received? Yet I have reduced them all to nothing by my apathy — and I
continue on in this manner. Thou has bestowed upon me thousands of
gifts, yet miserable me, I offer in return things repulsive to Thee.
Yet Thou, O Lord, inasmuch as Thou containest a sea of longsuffering and
an abyss of kindness, do not allow me to be felled as a fruitless fig
tree; and do not let me be burned without having ripened on the field of
life. Snatch me not away unprepared; seize not me who have not yet lit
my lamp; take not away me who have no wedding garment; but, because Thou
art good and the lover of mankind, have mercy on me. Give me time to
repent, and place not my soul stripped naked before Thy terrible and
unwavering throne as a pitiful spectacle of infamy.
If a righteous man can barely be saved, then where will I end up, I who
am lawless and sinful? If the path that leads to life is strait and
narrow, then how can I be granted such good things, I who live a life of
luxury, indulging in my own pleasures and dissipation? But Thou, O Lord,
my Saviour, Son of the true God, as Thou knowest and desirest it, by Thy
grace alone, freely turn me away from the sin that abides in me and save
me from ruin. Amen!